It is quite easy to be a clown; you put a hat on. You paint a face, honk a horn. Even then, clowns aren’t very funny. What is somehow treated as more comical than a clown is fighting a bulls*** war for another country. Oh, wait, that isn’t funny at all. It’s stupid.

For the first time in my young, immature, and rather sad life, it seems like the United States is directly starting another ‘war.’ While this war does not involve boots on the ground (for now), I am still going to call it a war for several reasons. First, because I think it is (duh), and I do not accept that government officials or media language get to redefine reality…after the fact. Second, if I go on to Instagram and see sustained military strikes, further escalation, and the other side’s retaliation, well, I mean, those are kind of the defining features of a war, regardless of a formal declaration. And third, because when missiles are launched, people die, infrastructure is destroyed, and political consequences become irreversible; none of that becomes less true simply because the word ‘war’ is avoided.

It’s like saying you’re not fighting a war just because you called it a ‘targeted strike.’ Or claiming you’re keeping the peace by dropping bombs. Yeah, very peaceful. Totally convincing.

If it isn’t clear yet, I do not believe the United States should be going to war with Iran. Further, it should not do so on behalf of the State of Israel.

I say this not because the Iranian regime is good (it isn’t) but because this war is unjustified, undemocratic, reckless, morally dishonest, and just fuc**** stupid. It is violence subcontracted to preserve someone else’s regional ‘dominance,’ paid for with American lives and defended with slogans (4  American lives as Sunday, March 1^st, at 10:00 am). Yes, I get it, Iran is repressive; women are controlled; dissent is punished; religious minorities suffer. These facts are real. But invoking them to justify war is apparently Christian, if by Christian you mean cherry-picking scripture to bless murder. If repression were sufficient grounds for invasion, the United States would be obligated to attack dozens of governments, including several it arms, funds, and shields diplomatically (honestly, at this point, it would be invading itself, too). Human rights are not the reason here; they are the clown paint acting as a mask. 

Moreover, this war is not about American safety. Iran does not pose an existential threat to the United States. If you didn’t know, Iran is located, get this, in a place called the MIDDLE EAST, and the United States is 6,500 miles away, in this place called…NORTH AMERICA.

This supposed claim that they pose a direct threat has been repeated loudly for decades and has proven false every single time. From intelligence assessments to public reports, there is no credible evidence that Iran has the capability or intent to launch attacks that would threaten the homeland in any meaningful way. Trump, without evidence, keeps suggesting they do. Every assertion of ‘threat’ is speculative or framed to justify some intervention that benefits the elites.

What this war is really about is enforcing a regional order favorable to Israel and them only, regardless of cost, consequence, or consent of the people. U.S. foreign policy has repeatedly prioritized the strategic interests of Israel over the lives and rights of local populations since the 1960s. The pattern is clear: support for Israel -> through military aid -> unconditional political backing -> and intervention against its regional rivals.

This has always come at the expense of justice, human life, and taxpayer morale and dollars.

Consider the 1982 Lebanon War, when U.S. support for Israel coincided with the siege of Beirut and the Sabra and Shatila massacre, leaving thousands of people dead. Or the 2006 Lebanon conflict, in which U.S.-backed Israeli military strikes devastated infrastructure and displaced nearly a million civilians. More recently, the 2008–2009, 2014, and 2023 Gaza wars left tens of thousands injured and killed, mostly civilians, while the U.S. provided political cover and military aid. These are not abstract consequences: they are the real, measurable outcomes of a policy that prioritizes the security of one ‘ally’ over the lives of many. This is also the definition of stupid.

The funny part is that the language of ‘national security’ hides the reality that escalation makes everyone less safe. Every U.S. intervention in the Middle East over the past four decades (Lebanon, Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Syria) demonstrates the same pattern: war = instability = radicalization = endless retaliation. In Iraq, removing Saddam Hussein under the banner of security unleashed sectarian chaos, empowered extremist groups like ISIS, and caused hundreds of thousands of civilian deaths. In Afghanistan, decades of occupation and military campaigns created conditions for renewed authoritarianism and radicalization, displacing millions of ordinary people who had no say in the conflict. Bombs, sanctions, and airstrikes do not reduce violence; they amplify it. If you poke a bear, the bear will attack. 

And all for what? Our ‘greatest ally’? Oh yes, the shining beacon of democracy in the Middle East!

Let me get this straight: the state that we bankroll with tens of billions of dollars every single year, hand over advanced weapons like candy on Halloween, and defend them at the United Nations no matter how many civilians they kill…is our greatest ally? Mike Huckabee, YOU are the problem; lmao #get #wrecked; #nerd. That’s right, every airstrike, every demolished home, every flattened school in Gaza or southern Lebanon, paid for, enabled, and covered by American taxpayers and politicians who call it ‘supporting an ally.’

‘Bro, you don’t know what you’re talking about, they didn’t commit genocide or anything.’ Yeah, screw that.

If I pull up pictures of Gaza right now on Google images, you’re going to defend that and say it’s not genocide? You do you.

It’s almost comical how easily morality is twisted here. We cheer for Israel’s ‘security’ while children die, hospitals crumble, and entire neighborhoods vanish. And we’re supposed to believe this is noble, righteous, or in any way consistent with the commandment, Thou shalt not kill? Sure. Totally consistent.

The U.S. has vetoed resolution after resolution condemning Israeli policies at the UN, handed over weaponry that ensures maximum destruction for minimum accountability, and politically shields every atrocity with a wink and more money. Every civilian casualty is neatly packaged into the narrative of ‘necessary defense.’ Every displaced family becomes just another statistic we pretend doesn’t exist. It’s like saying, “I love my neighbor” while pouring gasoline on their house. And we smile and call it moral foreign policy. Brilliant. Really inspiring. 

The democratic failure is total. Americans did not vote for this. Congress has done nothing for this. Yet military action is treated as an executive reflex, triggered by alliance obligations rather than public will. When no one is asked, no one is responsible.

And yet, somehow, people are still out there glazing Trump like he’s some misunderstood genius rather than the guy casually creating war for political theater. This is the same guy who bankrupted 4 casinos… how the f*** do you bankrupt 4 casinos?

‘Oh, he’s tough on Iran!’ ‘He’s standing up for our greatest ally!’  Yeah, sure, and my toaster is a Nobel Peace Prize winner. The man repeatedly inflates threats, ignores evidence, and treats the death of civilians as background noise for his political scorekeeping. Every post, off-the-cuff threat, and every insistence that Iran is an imminent danger….all while sitting safely 6,500 miles away in Mar-a-Lago, is treated like brilliance by half the country.

And the glazing isn’t just about him; it’s the media, the pundits, the ‘respectable’ opinion-makers who bend over backward to frame this as competence. The same people who would mock a high schooler for starting a fight over text messages cheer when the President uses military force as a branding exercise. It’s surreal; laughable. This is the guy who ran on ending endless wars… and right now is exactly how endless war gets normalized, by turning incompetence into spectacle, cruelty into policy, and threat inflation into a talking point.

Meanwhile, Americans, the ones supposedly being ‘protected,’ are being asked to pay and comply, as if consent and debate are optional accessories to a global reality show. Civilians abroad die, soldiers risk their lives, infrastructure crumbles, and our political elites shrug and call it strategy. And Trump? He tweets and deflects, and half the country treats it like a chess move rather than a humanitarian catastrophe.

If you’re still defending this attack on Iran, ask yourself: what exactly are you defending? Is it safety? Morality? Democracy? Or are you just defending your preferred team in a game where the losers are always the powerless, the innocent, the ones who never get a say? Because let’s be honest, the only thing that has ever been ‘protected’ here is the narrative, the story that makes a war look necessary, a President look competent, and an ally look needed. And everyone else? Collateral, footnotes, hashtags: ‘the dam libs!’

I crack myself up.

Sure, some will say, ‘But if we don’t act, Iran will get stronger,’ or ‘We’re just keeping America safe.’  Okay, fine, let’s pretend that bombing, escalating, and ignoring evidence is American, that murdering civilians and flattening neighborhoods counts as defending morality, and that loyalty to an ally excuses everything, including blatant injustice. Go ahead, make that case. I DARE YOU.

Furthermore, it’s the people who proclaim Jesus who make it even more comical. Show me how calling yourself a Christian while cheering this on or shrugging at the deaths of innocents aligns with the Gospel. Convince me why outsourcing morality to missiles, hashtags, and executive orders is worth one human life. Convince me why endless war, political theater, and subsidized occupation somehow make anyone safer or more righteous. The floor is yours, because until someone does, all that remains is a parade of clowns, playing war for someone else’s audience while they are deemed to paint their faces.

I hope all is well.

—

Colin